


Dear Romeo, don't get too attached

by Akiko_kitsune



Series: Make me crazy, keep me sane [4]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Anal Sex, Bittersweet, Blindfolds, Bottom Takasugi, But they finally try to talk, Canon Compliant, Complicated Relationships, Fuckbuddies, M/M, Oral Sex, Overstimulation, Past Relationship(s), Some pizza and caddles, They didn't even know they could be sappy sometimes, Top Gintoki, Topping from the Bottom, Valentines, Will it work though?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-05-31 07:37:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19421440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_kitsune/pseuds/Akiko_kitsune
Summary: Gintoki and Takasugi had met many times, but after the war moments when they weren't in their hero and villain roles were a rarity that no one of them knew how to deal with.





	Dear Romeo, don't get too attached

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for late and probably poor continuation. Even though this fic waited almost finished since April I had a lot to study (though I have my BA degree now) and after exams depression hit me. This part was supposed to be fluffy, but it turned out a bit bittersweet, I guess.
> 
> The title is from the song "Dear Romeo" by faceless boy. ft. ivri (though I listened to a lot of Hozier's new songs while writing it)

Gintoki heard some rather disturbing noises, though he didn't move from the couch yet to check what might have happened. It was his free from duties and kids evening, the world could be ending, but he would not move. He stayed alone mostly cause everyone had better thing to do than spending Valentines with him, which was fair. He got some chocolate this year, so that made him pretty content with that year outcome.

Noise repeated. It wasn't knocking, more like punching at the wall. Weird. Yet, it meant someone was outside. Client? Rather unlikely. Whoever that was, they weren't coming in nor walking around the doors battling themselves in their mind whether to come in or go away. It seemed rather like someone crushed on the wall a few times and then stayed like that. Gintoki knew so many idiots in his life that he couldn't rule out any possibility.

The silence that followed the noises concerned him to the point he finally got up from the couch and came to see what happened. Whoever that was, they were going to pay for disturbing his free evening with chocolate.

Gintoki opened the door and looked at the side from all the noises had come from. Out of all possibilities, that was what he expected the less.

Takasugi was sitting, leaning on the wall, breathing heavily, pressing his hand to his stomach. Blood sank through his clothing, but at least he didn't seem to dirty the wall nor the ground too much to raise anyone suspicious.

Why did he always have to get in some shady situation?

But even for him, it seemed unreal to happen. How did he got hurt? There were a few people who could hurt him. Why was he out of any possible place here? Why was he alone?

Takasugi looked up at him and smirked. “Would you lend me a hand or end me?”

“Depends. Are cops after you?”

“You befriended them, so they would never bother you.”

“But if I kill you and they see it...”

“They'll give you an order and keys to the city or some other shit.”

“Shame they are not here, then.”

“Knowing you, you would never play for them to this extent... But what do I know about the current you?” Takasugi sighed and leaned his head on the wall.

“Have I changed?”

"It’s been ten years, war, post-war... We all changed. Some for better, some for worse,” he exhaled harshly. It was bad. “You are a good man now. Someone who would make sensei proud. In contrast me...” he breathed out again and raised. “I won’t stay and corrupt you here, don’t worry...”

He wouldn’t make it any far. The wound didn’t seem to bleed a lot; however, Takasugi could barely move due to the pain it caused.

“Let me take care of it,” Gintoki said. Coldly. He didn’t care much what would happen to him. He would only prefer not to have his dead body on the stairs.

Takasugi looked back at him. “Aren’t you afraid that you’re inviting evil to your home?”

“Cut your edgy monologues or my offer won't stand.”

Takasugi chuckled. He didn't say anything more. Good. Gintoki didn’t want to hear things like that.

Takasugi came in. He didn’t let Gintoki touch him even if he could use some help, at least not to worsen his wound. But he had to be this stubborn. He only clenched tightly on Gintoki's kimono when he tried to sit down on the couch.

Sitting down seemed to be harder than raising. Takasugi grimaced from pain, but he was always a bit of a crybaby. Spoiled rich boy. Though, he would never speak if something happened to him. That was even more infuriating.

"What happened?" Gintoki asked when Takasugi let him go like he never caught on him in the first place.

"I wasn't careful enough. It's nothing," Takasugi breathed out and stopped pressing on the wound. He looked at it. He had been worse.

Gintoki brought some first-aid supplies and kneel over to him. He pulled the robes of Takasugi's clothing to see the wound. No good, it looked deep. It would be a nightmare to heal up, but they were no longer on the war. Takasugi could take his time to get back in shape.

“Cops?” Gintoki asked. Out of curiosity.

“They aren't that good to reach me.”

“So who?” his voice was so cold.

“Now it's a dead man. No one would even recognise its corpse.”

“Who was it?”

“Didn't introduce himself. I never saw him before. Probably someone taunted by the price for my head.”

“I could use some money too...” Gintoki sighed.

“Dream all you want.” Takasugi pushed his head away.

Gintoki reached for some antiseptic. The wound seemed to be relatively clean, but it was better to be cautious.

Takasugi hissed when Gintoki cleaned the wound.

“Don't be a baby.” His hands knew too well how to treat a wound. How many times had he already taken care of Takasugi's injuries? And each time he was hissing all around.

Gintoki sighed but then smiled. Huh, so there was still so many things that hadn't change between them.

Their little teasing somehow changed the air. Maybe they needed as little as their skins to touch or some prolonged gazes. Who knew? Cause definitely not them.

Gintoki's hands slowed down when he needed to reach around Takasugi's waist to put the bandage right.

"You had to screw up something really bad in your previous life to get in so much crap," Gintoki sighed. "And... to get tangled with someone like me." Takasugi quiet, so Gintoki continued: “Someone with so high standards turns to trash like me...”

“I know... Maybe I have a bad taste after all.”

“Even the best can make mistakes.” Gintoki glanced at his expression, but he couldn't read it.

“Then I should learn one day...”

“You were never up to studying...”

Takasugi smirked and leaned on the couch to find some more comfortable position. He thought about something for a moment. He was always scheming something.

"You aren't the only one in my life, you know that?" Takasugi said out of nowhere.

"Never dare to take that honour," Gintoki mocked.

“I did sleep with other guys. Not many though. Maybe four or five. Rather one time things to fill these ten years... Lately, it didn't happen.”

“And during the war?”

“Only one time. After we slept together.”

“So... I was your first?”

Takasugi chuckled. “You can imagine how my pride could never survive it.”

“But you told me now.”

“I don't think I have any pride left. Only acting, playing around. Losing time before the death reminds herself of me... I really screwed my life over. And look at you. Nowhere belonging trash. And now... you have a home, family, you're respected and loved...” but somewhere in saying that his mocking tone disappeared. “ _He_ would be really proud of you.”

Gintoki swallowed. Why? Why completely out of nowhere Takasugi played this card. He never...

“You never talked about _him_ before. Not with me.”

“Cause it’s hard," Takasugi chuckled bitterly. "But I can’t keep everything inside forever. Maybe cause I’m weak, it was always too much to keep having bottle up in me.”

“Before you never shut up about Shouyou. I guess that can’t be helped.”

But what now? What to do with Takasugi sitting on his couch and not seeming to go away any time soon. Even worse, he reached to his sleeve and took out money.

"What? You're giving a clue how to rob you?" Gintoki had to mock it. What else could he do?

Takasugi rolled his eyes. "I don't care. I don't have to worry about money. People are giving it to me willingly." Gintoki wanted to argue with that last word, but knowing how many lunatics were gathering around Takasugi that might be even true.

Gintoki took the money. WHy not. He wasn't so morally uptight not to reach for cash that someone was waving in front of him.

“Order something to eat,” Takasugi said.

“You think you’re in any position to order me around?”

“That’s my payback.”

Well, Gintoki would say no to free food. He went down to Otose’s to make a call. His bills weren’t paid in a long time.

“You didn't even pay for electricity?” Takasugi asked playing with the switch of the lamp. “What? You left me. I'm easily getting bored.”

“How your people even stand you?”

“It's worth it.”

Gintoki rolled his eyes and put a pizza box on the table. “Any complains, princess?”

“Nah.” Takasugi reached for a pizza slice.

“Zura would be so pissed. How can you eat such not samurai's food? It's going to numb your senses. Food is food, geez.”

“And are we even samurai in any sense of this word?”

“You're right..." Gintoki reached for food too. But one more thought was resurfacing in his mind. Takasugi's closeness brought out too many thoughts. "Didn’t Zura always babysit you about food? Always seemed weird to me.”

“I eat too little. I got used to not having anything.”

“Such a richie rich like you?”

Gintoki could really not understand it. How someone could starve oneself willingly? Maybe if they would be short on cash, Gintoki knew that from his own experience, but Takasugi seemed to always roll in piles of money and throwing it all around without any reason. Why was he so incapable of taking care of himself? Yet, it had some sense for him to be like that when he's on his own, but when he was a kid? His family didn't take care of him?

“You maybe never get it," Takasugi sighed. He didn't want to pick a fight over it. "Parents can really screw up a lot.”

Gintoki thought about it for a moment more than he should. At least more than he ever had before. Usually he... was almost jealous of people who still have some living and healthy relative. People didn't know how lucky they were. However, he did know how some people could be straight up assholes. He thought maybe by being related there is something different then, but...

There was one thing that bothered him.

They used to fight a lot. He and Takasugi. With each other. With others. It wasn't surprising to see bruises on them. And not like Shouyou was the softest being and never left a bruise on them. But he did notice sometimes some bruises on Takasugi he didn't recognise from the day before. And now Gintoki only wandered of their origin.

He should just stop overthinking.

“It'll get dark soon. I’ll find some light,” he said to for a moment stay alone.

“Would be easier if you pay your bills sometimes.”

“Not all of us fraud everything it gets in their hands, some of us are just trying to pay their taxes.”

“I'm as lawful and transparent as the government is.”

“Smart ass.”

Gintoki had no idea what now. He had some stupid candles in the cupboard. That should be enough.

Why did Takasugi bring out Shouyou? That was troubling Gintoki the most. Takasugi never could stop talking about him, sure, but after... After the war, everything had gone messy and complicated. It felt too surreal that in this very moment everything seemed to untangle. It was a bad sign.

But couldn’t Gintoki at least once indulge himself in this illusion of having his friend back and everything being alright?

“Candles?” Takasugi raised a brow but spared further comments. He only watched closely as Gintoki lightened up some of them and hummed when he went back to him.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He moved his gaze away. “Food will get cold if you keep doing everything so slow.”

“How can anyone in this world endure you?” Gintoki sighed and sat on the couch next to him. Takasugi moved closer but in so careless manner, like he was only reaching for another slice.

They could be like this. Just sitting and feeling good in each other company without jumping to each other’s throats. It probably wouldn’t work...

“How do you even find these guys?” Gintoki asked to fight off the eerie silence. “All that Kiheitai?”

“There are tons of people that hate this world. I helped them channel it into something productive.”

“What are you even saying to them? Wanna destroy the world? Wanna kill people with friends?”

“Sometimes.” He kept quiet for a moment. Then he looked into Gintoki's eyes and asked softly: “Would you die for me?”

“I would.”

Takasugi smirked and moved back a bit. “You’re a proud new member of Kiheitai.”

“What...? Wait, really? That’s what you’re saying them? They have all a crush on you...”

“Like you?”

“Are we really going this sappy route? It was never our thing.”

“Yet, here we are, talking about it, spending time together on Valentines... You even lightened up some candles.”

“You found yourself a shitty day to get hurt.”

“Next time, I’ll check a calendar before I let someone stab me,” he sighed. “We have to admit one day that we grew old and sappy.”

“That’s awful.” Gintoki reached for the last slice of pizza.

“Really?”

Gintoki rethought it while eating. Takasugi seemed not to move during it.

“Nah. That’s even kind of nice..." Gintoki finally answered. He looked at Takasugi once more. That asshole. "I wanna kiss you.”

“Go for it.”

“Won’t you bite my head off?”

“Today you’re safe.”

“I'll have to pay you of this generosity one day?”

“Of course. You're in so big debt.”

Gintoki didn’t need to come closer, they were already close enough, only to lower his head a bit to meet Takasugi’s lips. This day was truly exceptional. No one could keep being so close to Takasugi without getting scratched. Without risk, there was no fun. Gintoki pulled him closer. Takasugi accepted it and move right into his lap. They maintained the kiss even if it was getting messier. The hands reached for more. Gintoki’s moved down Takasugi’s back, Takasugi’s into Gintoki’s hair. Same possessive motions.

“You’re in such a good mood after getting stabbed?” Gintoki teased.

“Shut up,” he murmured into a kiss, even though his lips curled into a smirk.

“We should move, though. I don’t want you to bleed all over my couch.”

“That couch probably has seen worse,” Takasugi muttered but moved a bit back. “Is there any comfortable place in your apartment?”

“Oh, forgive me there is nothing on this earth that could match your needs.”

“You need to try harder,” Takasugi teased back.

In moments like that Gintoki could understand all these people who could throw away everything for Takasugi. Let him step over their bodies only to keep his feet from getting dirty by the ground. Gintoki himself was balancing somewhere on that line.

But he would not fall into it. Even if today that seemed harder than usual.

Gintoki took the lightened candles to his room. In that time Takasugi was already getting familiar with his mattress. He had something on his mind. Gintoki knew too well his smirks, but usually, he got tangled in whatever Takasugi wanted from him. But tonight seemed differently, special, maybe they should keep it going that way.

“No games tonight.” He kissed him. Takasugi only murmured something dissatisfied. Psycho. But he didn’t move back. Gintoki felt it under his hand how he became nearly pliant. How he moved closer to him following the rhythm of the kiss.

Usually, it would scare off Gintoki. He was too afraid of hurting him again. And when he had him so close, so open, so vulnerable... But it stirred something in his heart. And that urged him to keep moving. To reach for something his whole being was yearning for.

His hands moved slowly. Even if they knew so well every inch of the body underneath them. How many times did he take his time to feel the softness of his skin? Probably never. Too afraid of finding marking its scars which he was guilty of. He should have protected him from all the harm.

He even promised his master he would look after all their friends. And he ended up ruining the most important person to both them.

If Shouyou ever came back, he wouldn't be proud of what he would see in Gintoki.

Why these thoughts were always swallowing him? It wasn’t important at the moment. It had nothing to do with what was happening. Why out of all times now...?

Takasugi reached his hands and cradled his face. He pulled him close and let Gintoki rest his forehead on his. For a moment. To calm down. That took all the thoughts away. Gintoki thanked him with tender kisses on every inch of his body.

What was with them that day? It wasn’t like them. They were always fighting, arguing, screaming at each other. Never tender and understanding. When they fucked, it was quick, filthy, lately pretty kinky. And now Gintoki was taking time.

Maybe at least once he wanted to do it as it should be done. Slowly. Attentively. Lovingly...

Right. Lovingly. That part usually got missing between banters and guilt. Apart from today.

"Stay," Gintoki stopped him when Takasugi tried to move after him. "I don't want your blood on my mattress either."

Takasugi rolled his eyes but listened and laid down.

His lips stayed between Takasugi’s legs. He kept licking. Feeling how Takasugi's body was squirting and trembling under him. Until he made him come. Then he moved a bit higher and licked off the stains on his belly. On his cock. He focused on that last one. Takasugi had no force left to oppose him, mock him or push him away. He lay down still, moaning softly. His oversensitive body seemed to melt in the mattress.

Gintoki reached for the lube and loosed Takasugi. He did never went so slowly on him. Prepping him carefully. Giving him so much attention that Takasugi’s oversensitive cock was getting hard again.

Gintoki entered him. The burning flesh welcomed him with little reluctance. When he moved his whole length in, he could let himself melt too. His body laid on top of Takasugi and for a moment they just stayed like this.

And when he moved again, it was even better. And Takasugi... He let himself moan. Usually, he was either trying to suppress it or fake it to tease Gintoki. He let himself to be seen, to be heard, to be reached.

Gintoki was afraid of screwing it up. But he wasn’t left alone. Takasugi kept touching him, pulling him closer, helping him keep the pace. In was one of the rare moments when they were in perfect synchronicity. How could it even happen? That two people so different and usually was angry at each other, could fit so nicely that every motion was bringing out smiles on their lips.

Gintoki wasn’t given much time to think about it. Soon after they came, only after catching a few breaths, Takasugi pushed him down and got on top of him. “Second round.”

“You're going to torture me after all I've done to you.”

“What else did you expected?” He looked down on him.

"What about your wound?" Gintoki ran his fingers across the bandage. The blood didn't sink through yet.

"I won't break."

A lie. Gintoki had witnessed so many times as Takasugi was breaking, shattering right in front of him on the ground. But what could he do? He only reached his arms to secure him, to keep him in one piece. And if he shattered again, to keep all the broken pieces together.

And so Gintoki just let him. He laid down and let Takasugi for everything. And watched him.

He loved him. He loved him. He loved him.

Why did he never tell him that?

Could he imagine himself saying something like that? No. It wasn’t like them. He wouldn’t say it.

He should. He should just push away his pride and say it. Until he could still catch Takasugi in his arms. Before it was too late. And judging by how reckless he was becoming that could happen very soon.

He should tell him now. He should...

Takasugi took his obi and bind it over Gintoki's eyes.

"Can't you just do it normally? Why do there always have to be some games involved..." he stopped when he felt a finger on his lips.

Blindfold probably made it easier for Takasugi. He could hide from Gintoki’s gaze and do whatever he wanted with a low chance of being ridiculed.

_So insecure today, huh, who would have known..._

Takasugi's hand traced over his muscles. His hands were calloused, not only like Gintoki’s from using a sword, but scarred tips of fingers indicated he was still playing shamisen sometimes. He didn’t hear him play in so long. Maybe one day...

All thoughts stopped when his hands reached Gintoki’s cock. His breath hitched. His hands ran to Takasugi’s hair, face, to desperate to read what he was up to. He never knew that.

Takasugi rode him. If only Gintoki could see how he looked. He was always so awfully beautiful.

Afterwards, he laid next to him and pulled the blindfold off.

“You’re alright?” Gintoki asked after giving him some time.

“Yeah.”

He didn’t seem alright. But Gintoki didn’t ask. He wouldn’t get an answer. He only pulled his arms around him and held him tightly. And that helped. It was one of the very rare moments when that was enough. When Gintoki just by being was enough to patch up wounds on Takasugi’s heart.

“Why such a good mood today?”

“I don’t know. Just cause.”

They met rarely. That made Gintoki see only a glimpse of his moods. Or rather only one specific mood - right before falling apart, when he got so high to dare to reach him and when he was knowing he was starting to fall apart so he tried desperately catching on everything around to keep himself from falling.

That night, Takasugi was in progress of getting higher. His mood was good, playful, though he was a bit self-aware. He seemed like... Like in the old days. A glimpse of what he used to be. Right before he was getting higher. More pretentious, cunning, exalting. In a few days, he would probably be again on his lowest. Gintoki was afraid of it. That was really the most terrifying thing he had seen in his life. But he should be there for him. Try to catch him when he was falling...

Who was he trying to fool? Himself, probably.

He was never there for Takasugi. Rarely, cause if timing went badly, he was there to witness his fall. But mostly… Gintoki only prayed there was someone else by Takasugi’s side at that moments, cause he wouldn’t have his friend otherwise.

Friend... Yeah, there was this thing too.

Gintoki rarely pay attention to what was going around, the world was working out as it wanted, why would he bother with it? Or try to put labels on what was happening? And that this night came to bite him in the ass.

"Do you want to be mine...?" _again?_ Last words didn't get out from his mouth. He didn't gather that much of courage.

"Wouldn't it mean you're mine too?" Gintoki murmured caressing his cheek.

"You don't want it?”

"I thought you didn't do attachments anymore?"

"So did you, but look at you now. Happily playing home with a bunch of stray kids."

“You don’t like them that much?” Gintoki laughed.

“I didn’t say I didn’t like them. I don’t know them. But they seem good.”

“They are amazing.”

“Then take care of them.”

 _Better than I took of you?_ Gintoki immediately thought. Takasugi never said anything about it, but they were never talking about that day. Maybe one day they learnt to, but it didn’t seem to happen in the nearest future.

For some reason, Takasugi tried his taunting once more. "We're both like stray cats. But we could stray together?"

"Or I can leave the door open."

"That would be good too."

Gintoki had no idea what was going on his mind that night.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope it was still enjoyable to read. Next part should be up sooner - probably in two weeks, but I'm not sure yet what to do with the rest of this series looking what happened in the newest chapters. So if you want to help you can tell me in the comments or on Twitter (@AkikoKitsune) would like to have some than 5 parts of this story and should it be accurate to what happened in manga or should I fuck the canon and do what I intended.


End file.
